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An entry in Fortnightly Topic Challenge #35: Restricted Title 1. Title based on this xkcd.

I think a friend of mine sent me a letter. However, I can’t seem to decrypt his message. I’m worried about my potential friend, can you help me decrypt this message?
enter image description here

I think the writing is written in some form of English, but it’s really confusing.

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The message is:

written in mirror writing, and with shapes that resemble English letters. (e.g. the right-most three letters of the centred first line are mirrored characters for “<ON” = CON)
Thanks to Riley for pointing out that including a reflected image would help the answer; I used one when writing but it totally slipped my mind to add to the answer.

Decrypted, it reads:

CONSPIRACY
MY DEAR FRIEND JOE-YOU-KNOW,
I NEED YOUR HELP. I HAVE DISCOVERED
A CONSPIRACY MOST HEINOUS AND BAD.
WHAT I HAVE FOUND WILL SHAKE THE
FOUNDATION OF WHAT YOU KNOW
ABOUT ICE CREAM. I HAVE LEARNED
THAT ICE CREAM COMPANIES ARE
TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

PLEASE HELP ME, OLD FRIEND.
I AM IN A MAXIMUM SECURITY
PRISON AT THE BLUE BELL
HEADQUARTERS. PLEASE, SAVE
ME FRIEND. YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE.

YOUR FRIEND,
RILLOASRON

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