Constructor: Adam Wagner and Michael Lieberman

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium 

THEME: “Growth Spurts” — familiar phrases have the word “INCH” added to them, creating wacky phrases, clued wackily (i.e. “?”-style):

Theme answers:

• ENDLESS LOINCHOPS (3D: Barbecue buffet offering?)
• ASPIRIN CHANTS (58D: Things like “What do we want?” “Headache relief!” “When do we want it?” “Now!”?)
• COIN CHA-CHING (7D: Invent the sound of a cash register?)
• CHINCHILLA XING (30D: Peruvian road sign?)
• BABY BUM PINCH (67D: Affectionate squeeze of an infant’s bottom?)
• BALLER IN CHINA (13D: Yao Ming, before joining the N.B.A.?)
• LATIN CHEST CRAZES (43D: Reasons that South American furniture stores have super-long lines?)

Word of the Day: William of OCKHAM (36D: English philosopher William of ___) —

William of Ockham, OFM (; also Occam, from Latin: Gulielmus Occamus; c. 1285 – 10 April 1347) was an English Franciscan friar, scholastic philosopher, apologist, and Catholic theologian, who is believed to have been born in Ockham, a small village in Surrey. He is considered to be one of the major figures of medieval thought and was at the centre of the major intellectual and political controversies of the 14th century. He is commonly known for Occam’s razor, the methodological principle that bears his name, and also produced significant works on logic, physics and theology. William is remembered in the Church of England with a commemoration on the 10th of April. […] In philosophy, Occam’s razor (also spelled Ockham’s razor or Ocham’s razor; Latin: novacula Occami) is the problem-solving principle that recommends searching for explanations constructed with the smallest possible set of elements. It is also known as the principle of parsimony or the law of parsimony (Latin: lex parsimoniae). Attributed to William of Ockham, a 14th-century English philosopher and theologian, it is frequently cited as Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem, which translates as “Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity”, although Occam never used these exact words. Popularly, the principle is sometimes inaccurately paraphrased as “The simplest explanation is usually the best one.” This philosophical razor advocates that when presented with competing hypotheses about the same prediction and both theories have equal explanatory power one should prefer the hypothesis that requires the fewest assumptions and that this is not meant to be a way of choosing between hypotheses that make different predictions. Similarly, in science, Occam’s razor is used as an abductive heuristic in the development of theoretical models rather than as a rigorous arbiter between candidate models. (wikipedia)

• • •

Hello! Welcome back, and happy birthday! No, wait, you’re supposed to say that to me. Let’s start over … [You: “Welcome back, and happy birthday!”] Hey, thanks, that’s very nice of you! I had a lovely week of giving thanks at my sister’s house in Colorado, where I mostly took long walks, watched birds, looked at mountains and read books. And ate. And ate. And ate and ate. Mexican food, at first (no good stuff where I live, so I had to take advantage). And then … well, just everything. I ate it all. Cheesecake! I don’t even like cheesecake but my mom’s was so good that I couldn’t resist. I must’ve eaten Thanksgiving dinner at least three times. All in all, a productive, relaxing, embiggening week. Thanks very much to the Rexplacements, Rafa and Eli, for being their usual astute, charming, and reliable selves. I thought I could handle blogging while also visiting my family in a different time zone, but … nope, too difficult. Possible, but not enjoyable, so Rafa and Eli agreed to help out, for which I am grateful. And now it’s my birthday—well, as I’m writing this, it’s actually my birthday eve, but my wife already made the cake and I’m already two slices in (still got that holiday eating momentum going). It’s a rich chocolate cake—the second slice was probably a bad decision, but it’s so beautiful that it’s hard to lay off. Anyway, I’m full and rested and ready for crosswords! 

So … hmm. OK. Maybe I’m missing something. I don’t really get the INCH thing, conceptually. I mean, I see that the puzzle is called “Growth Spurts,” and I guess the idea is that the regular phrases have “grown” by one INCH … but I kept waiting for the revealer that never came. It all felt so arbitrary. INCH INCH INCH INCH etc. why? Just ’cause? OK, but something about the relentless march of INCH’s made this one feel dreary. Once I got my second INCH-containing answer, I realized they were *all* gonna have INCH in them, so I just filled in all the four-letter shaded sections with INCH. I didn’t even get the pleasure / challenge of figuring out where those INCH’s were going to show up. It’s so horribly condescending of the puzzle to tell you the location of hidden words like this. Let Me Find Them. That’s part of the fun. Or … at least, it could add some element of resistance, which would make solving this something more than just an occasionally amusing walk in the park. I get that they’re trying to make the puzzle more “accessible,” but this is just giving away too much of the game. Stop treating solvers like babies. If you’re worried about newer solvers, the truth is that newer solvers are never gonna get better at sussing out the harder themes if you keep cutting corners for them. There’s nothing particularly aesthetically pleasing about the placement of the INCH’s, so … why shade them, except to do some unnecessary hand-holding? Bah. In my day. Etc.

[93A: Mississippi city in a Neil Simon title]

I’m doomed never to know any reality show judge, ever again, no way no how, so sure, GAIL Simmons, if you say so (71A: “Top Chef” judge Simmons). Again, fair crosses make it alright. Once again I confused NILLA Wafers and NECCO Wafers and ended up with NECCA for a bit (75A: Classic name in wafers). I don’t know why you’re wearing socks because of SANDAL TANS (115A: Reasons to wear socks post-vacation). If you wear shoes without socks, people still can’t see your feet … and if you’re not wearing shoes, you’re wearing … sandals, probably, so … I guess there are types of shoes that do show the tops of your feet, so OK, but that clue could’ve been … better. Different. Something else. YEET that clue, for sure. Also YEET the crossing of ASK NOT and I CANNOT. That’s too much NOT action in one little place. Not cool. 

That’s all. Pinch your baby’s bum for me, but not too hard, that’s mean! Enjoy your last Sunday of November. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. [They’re just over two feet] for ANKLES is cute. I used a version of the same clue in my thank-you postcard crossword (for supporters of this blog) earlier this year! (18-Down). I doubt I was the first. But a good clue is a good clue.